Thursday, December 10, 2009

Jordan Marquez Presents: The Top Ten Best And Worst of The Decade 00s - Number 1 Worst


Welcome back to the countdown, as we are at the end of my top ten worst movies of the decade.

For a film that is considered the worst, the film show the lack of care, ambition, cleverness and production value while failing the objective the film set out in the first place. Not only that, it shows me as the pinnacle of the downgrading standards films are now dumbing down to and makes me worried and furious. Just a look at this movie will drive you to madness and will make you tear your eyes out and cut out your tongue. I didn't do that because I'm a sane person, but I was that close.

AND SO....



The #1 worst movie of the decade:
Disaster Movie (2008)


Uwe Boll was awful, but lost the title. Michael Bay is a d*uchebag, but nearly got the title. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer... I HATE THOSE MOTHERF*CKERS DOWN TO THE BONE! and rightfully deserve the title of worst directors ever! In it for the money and never ever give anything decent back to the audience. And they think they are actually making a funny spoof film in the vein of Airplane..... ARE THEY F*CKIN BLIND?! They are SOOO FAR from being anything that is related to the word "funny". But the right adjectives that describe them are soul-draining, mind-grazing and completely stupid. They have four sh*tty projects to their pathetic excuse of a credit and you would think that with each film, they would improve themselves. Each one gets WORSE AND WORSE! Its like they purposefully losing their ability to make a film and they are getting dumber and dumber till they are noting but retards. Sure I could have place each one of them in the top ten worst movies, but that would be easy. So I have chosen the WORST of their movie for the WORST of the decade, which is the appropriately-titled Disaster Movie.

God when I heard of this movie, I was horrified it even existed. I heard so many bad things about this movie, that I should stay away from this film. Yet I was curious... I had to know how bad it was. So I downloaded the film and watched it with my own two eyes. And everything they say about this film..... was false...

In fact, their words can not comprehend the quality of this movie. It is FAR WORSE than everything they said. This film can be use for torture. In HELL! Marketed as a movie parody of every natural disaster movies out there, this film is nothing but random clips and bad impersonations of anything recent like Hannah Montana and Iron Man and NONE of them are remotely funny. They just scrape the edge of the subject they try to make fun of and offer no new or clever spin to the joke they do. And if that doesn't insult your intelligence, someone in the film will just introduce the character for you like "Oh look, its Amy Winehouse!", "Oh god, its Iron Man", "Gosh, its Wolf from American Gladiator". Even they make fun of subjects that weren't out that time like Hancock where they just based the joke of the trailer... Thats just damn freakin lazy, guys... Seriously is this what these idiot think the audience to spend $10 at the theater or a video store? Throughout the movie you'll be spending time with token white guy and token black guy, the whore who is famous no reason: Kim Kardashian and a bad Juno impersonator who criticize the witty and clever writing of the actual movie. Well aren't you guy big men, Jason and Aaron? Making fun and criticizing a movie that is deemed to be too smart for you? You f*ckin retards. Of course there is no plot or any actual character, but really there is ABSOLUTELY nothing funny about this piece of nuclear sh*t. And when you have a film that does an absolute bad impersonation of THE LOVE GURU! one of the worst movies ever, you know you have a film worse than sh*t.

There you have it! Not only it is the worst film of that year, but its the worst of the decade. If by god, those two retards decided to make another film, god have mercy on our pitiful soul...

Tomorrow, I will get out these pile of crap and go on with the list of the top ten BEST movies of the decade. Starting with number 10 best! What will it be?

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