Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Jordan Marquez Presents: The Top Ten Best And Worst of The Decade 00s - Number 9 Worst


Welcome back to the countdown, initially at the top ten worst movies of the decade.



The #9 worst movie of the decade:
Catwoman (2004)



Why would a measly little sh*tty superhero movie like this be considered to be one of the top ten worst films of the decade? Not only its a complete crapfest, it is also hazardous to your health. Seriously if you are thinking of watching Catwoman, you better take caution and have your doctor on speed dial. While other bad movies hurts the brain and the eyes, this one REALLY damages your eyes as the film's camera is filled up on LCD and takes thousands of shots at every angle at non-stop dizzying nauseous heights. About half-way though, I couldn't take it anymore because my eyes (honest be told) were in excruciating pain and I couldn't take one sitting for this film. I had to finish the film three days later after an intense resting. Good thing I watched this on a small screen because if it was a big screen, I'll lose my f*ckin mind.

Even though Batman is the king of all superheroes in print and film, he still have to live with the painful memories of its dark stains: Batman Forever and Batman And Robin and now this has to be added to the pile. Catwoman is one of everybody's favorite Batman villains/anti-hero and one of the sexiest femme fatales in the Batman franchise next to Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. And really it is not at all hard to actually make a solo Catwoman movie that is not canon with the Batman series or doesn't even mention Batman, but somehow they managed to f*ck that up. Right after Halle Berry showed off her sexy body in Swordfish and won an Oscar for Monster's Ball, she became a hot item for Hollywood and so it was logic by the producers that she would be cast as the title character. However this would be the beginning of her seemingly-endless strings of crap, starting with this one. Her portrayal was somehow unlikable in both the before and after transformation. Her true identity was way wimpier than of Michelle Pfeiffer's, while her costumed ego lacked the ferociousness and power that was greatly portrayed... again by Michelle Pfeiffer's. Not to mention the villain she's fighting is a bad example of every vainful milfs in the world... played by.... ugghh Sharon Stone. I mean what has happened to her? She was Mrs. Legs Wide Open and now landed herself in crap pile like this. Her next crap is being Mrs. Legs Wide Open again.

The film tries so hard to be edgy, cool and in-your-face with its action sequences and fancy editing, only to be gravely backfired as they became bland and painful. Its special effects and CG animations has got to be one of the most horrendous, cheap and actually funniest I have seen in a big-budget comic book movie. Its funny and ironic that she received an Oscar for Best Actress one year and the next she received a Razzie for Worst Actress. Though she was a good sport about this. There is nothing to be happy about being part of this pathetic excuse of a super-hero movie.

Tomorrow, I will reveal #8 worst movie of the 00s. What will it be....

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