My Top Ten by MaxJayJay: Michael Bay Works

Its that time of the month where I give my Top Ten on ANYTHING!





This month's theme of the month is the new Transformers movie - Revenge of the Fallen, which will be playing in theaters this month. And no, I didn't think the first Transformers movie was even that great. It was fun to watch and it is meant to be fun. Granted that if they developed the story more as well as the dialogue, it would have been "good". For this month's top ten list, I would have taken the easy route like giving you a Top Ten on robots or 80s cartoon series. But me wanting a challenge, I made the list that gave me a hard time honoring this one person, Michael Bay.



No, I don't think Michael Bay is that great of a director. Maybe he isn't destined to make a well-thoughtful and intelligently-written movie. If he can make people happy by blowing stuffs up, then that's great for him. But he isn't one of my favorite directors, nor he is a good director in my eyes. And none of my films or works are among my favorites. But hey, this is a fun and challenging list for me to do. But I will be washing my hands after making this list because I couldn't believe I wrote onscreen. And yeah, he has only directed 7 films so I will be including all of his works. Films that are produced by him and music videos he had done.

Lets get on it shall we?

10.
PEARL HARBOR

This is no way a good movie, but not a low terrible one. And hey, there are only about 8 of Bay's movies. If there is only one thing I find something good about the film, the battle of Pearl Harbor is stunning to look at. Which really should be the entire focus of the movie, not the 2 hour sappy melodrama romance that precedes the event that is the title of the movie.

9.
THE ISLAND



As much as I don't expect much from a Michael Bay movie, there is a ray of hope that a movie by him will take seriously and be actually good. First seeing the trailer of The Island, I thought to myself "This may have a shot at being the first Michael Bay movie to be thought-provoking and cleverly-written". I didn't see it in theaters, but I rented the movie one day. No, it wasn't that good. It tried to be smart, but it just didn't make the mark. Though we have a cool car chase.

8.
ARMAGEDDON

Ok first mistake of the entire movie - the title. "Apocalypse" is more fitting for the title as it really means "end of the world". "Armageddon" mean the epic war between heaven and hell. And there is no literal or metaphorical battle of heaven and hell nor there is nothing epic about the battle between a group of miner astronauts and a meteor. But hey that Aerosmith song has more drama than this movie.

7.
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

Produced by Michael Bay, I have seen a little bit of the original and I luckily caught some parts that scared me. Going in with the thought that this film will suck as most remakes and reboots do, I was pretty surprised that this film is not bad, if not the same as the original. And its great to see Jessica Biel in this film. She's hot!

6.
"FALLING IN LOVE" BY AEROSMITH - MUSIC VIDEO

Michael Bay was actually a music video director before he became a megastar in Hollywood. So its understandable that he works better in music videos than in big Hollywood films, (why can't he be like Michel Gondry, doing awesome in both films and music videos?". Aerosmith is a great band to listen to and at least Michael Bay did something we would never see him do again - being artistic. Its probably the closest thing to a Michel Gondry standard, which is still very very far.

5.
BAD BOYS

During that time, the producers thought to themselves "Who the people really want to see?..... That black guy from House Party and that black guy from Fresh Prince Of Belair.." What would they do in this film? They talk bullsh*t to each other in the car, talk bullsh*t to each other in a house, talk bullsh*t to each other in the city and they shoot people. And it sounds like a stretch for it to work, but hey it actually worked. I did actually enjoy watching them giving wise-crack jokes and gangster phrases while shooting people. The world will be knowing Will Smith for a very very long time and they will know Martin Lawrence for a while.

4.
BAD BOYS II

AKA "Talking bullsh*t in the car - The Sequel: Talking bullsh*t in Cuba". I really don't know the real reason to make a second one. But when the producers feel they're running empty, get them back and milk it more than usual. But its not a bad movie to watch and its a little better than the original. Will and Martin amped up the bullsh*t and the action scenes were ridiculously to look at. I had mixed feelings when one scene was replicated of one of my favorite Jackie Chan movies. I wouldn't be surprised if they do a third one. People love to see these guys talking bullsh*t to each other.

3.
TRANSFORMERS

When you add Michael Bay and a cartoon based of giant robots that turns into automobiles and beat the crap out of each other, you will think it will actually work. And thankfully it did.... by a scratch. While it was a fun film to watch, I can't help myself but be bothered by the many dumb things that went on in this movie. The annoying characters, the sometimes poorly-edited battle scenes, stupid and lame-executed humor, terrible dialogue and the hip MTV-style slangs and lingo most characters spout out. Maybe because I wasn't a fan of the toy line and the cartoon series (I'm a Turtles guy), but its great to see the CG Effect work beautifully with bits and details. Thus making it the very main focus of the film, and thus lies the problem.

2.
THE ROCK

This is probably my first exposure to Michael Bay when at the time, I thought it was directed by John Woo. While the writing, plot and editing were horrible as usual, the action were not particularly that ridiculous. While Nicholas Cage was both fun and embarrassing to watch, F*CKIN Sean Connery was what everyone wanted to see. And it is arguable that he saved the film. Even at an old age, Connery uses his awesome Connery powers and charm to make anything, good or bad, priceless. And Connery can still kick f*ckin ass! Too bad, his awesome Connery powers and charm couldn't save League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

1.
"I'D DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE" BY MEATLOAF - MUSIC VIDEO

I think most people (including me) didn't know that Michael Bay directed this music video. One thing, its F*CKIN MEATLOAF! That guy, no matter where he goes, is still a f*ckin badass. But what surprises me is that the music video has something that we never see in any of his big Hollywood film - it has a good story! A good story? in a Michael Bay work? Thats unbelievable! Sure its not that original, but it sure is inventive. The whole Beauty and the Beast narrative really fits the song and the art direction. Plus we see Meatloaf as a f*ckin badass beast, that is a cross between a giant rat and a vampire. Plus the song is epic and it f*ckin rocks! Its a classic for sure. Too bad most of the whole world don't see Michael Bay as a creative artistic artist but a Special-Effect-First Plot-Development-Last Money-Guarantee agent of summer blockbusters.

Watch video here ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=788H0K5KrYI


So thats my Top 10. What's your opinion?