Dragonball the Movie: Its Gonna Suck!

When I heard news that people are green-liting the new Dragonball movie based of the mangas by Akira Toriyama, I already knew that its gonna suck, hard and dry. While never a fan of Dragonball, I do enjoy watching from time to time and its fun seeing huge testosterone jocks duking each other out with energy blasts and earth-shattering moves. This series has elements of chinese mythology, weird characters, interplanetary scenarios and hardcore battles where anything is possible. A series like this could never work in a Hollywood movie. Before they released the trailer, the movie was just filled with wrongs. Kid from War of the World doesn't fit the character of Goku, movie sets somewhere like LA, Bulma's hair isn't blue, no Krillin and freakin Piccolo isn't green and looks like a vampire.



The lucky director for this film, is James Wong who have directed such films as Final Destination and The One. Wong may have not a colorful line of works while having been worked on the X-Files and The One, but he managed to hit it big time with Dragonball though I question his choice of music in all of films where most are angry heavy music. Though I can't see Wong directing such crazy actions that the manga and anime of Dragonball have delivered. Even though the fight scenes with Jet Li in the One were kinda innovative and wacky, its still not enough to convince me. And it is still not convincing of all the choices he makes for the story, characters and etc. And I don't care if a Japanese or an American is casted as Goku, but a very convincing actor. And a wimpy kid as Goku is not good!



The one painful stab in the heart for me is the casting of Chow Yun Fat for Master Roshi. I mean come on! Its the legendary Chow Yun Fat! That gun-wielding trenchcoat-wearing badass motherf*cker! He's the coolest Asian ever grace the screen and it breaks my heart to see him in this kind of film! Why Ken why?! It was great to see him in Pirates of the Caribbean, but I was furious that he died a pathetic death (you know what I mean) and never a chance to see him fight as a pirate. Now I fear this is the same thing happening to one of my favorite Asian icons. He's doesn't even look like Roshi! He shouldn't be there doing martial arts and blasting fireballs, but he should be blasting people with a gun! Thats the badass Chow Yun Fat I know from A Better Tomorrow, Hard-Boiled and the Killer!



I know this is a Hollywood stylization of the franchise, but if you're gonna do a Dragon ball movie, its gotta be or at least very close to Dragon ball. Sadly this is one of the latest victims to be raped by the two-faced machine that is Hollywood, where it will find many more anime series to adapt into shameless Hollywood adaptations.



Here is the trailer and pray for its sufferings: