My Top Ten: Most Dissapointing Anticipated Movies I Have Seen.... So Far....

Its that time of the month where I give my Top Ten on ANYTHING!





Well every geeknerd's anticipated, yet fearful movie event, Watchmen is finally released in cinemas everywhere and they can now find out if their beloved book has been given either the respect it deserves or total mutilation. How is this related to this month's top ten? I have finally put "high-anticipated movies" into the topic. I thought about the past movies I was soooo much hyped about and when I finally saw it, it sucks donkey balls. For it to be an entry in the list, the following factors have to considered:

-how much I invested in the upcoming film (examples: the stories, mythologies, what it promise)

-how much I was sooo disappointed as I walked out the theater

-the age factor: excluding movies I like as a young age but hate it now like Godzilla. Have to be both hyped and disappointed at the same age.

Some of the entires you may predict and some you may not see it coming. In the end, its MY list. So I'm gonna bring you my Most Dissapointing Anticipated Movies I Have Seen so far in Top Ten form!

10.
KING KONG (2005)

This may surprise you. After his productions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Peter Jackson states he would want to do a King Kong remake. Hearing that I was real excited because the original King Kong was legendary and still is amazing to watch. To have the remake in the hands of another director would be fearful. But in his, it would be ok. Promotional and trailers showed it was going to be epic and I was itching for the time to see it. Not till I found out it was so boring. I still pretty much respect Peter Jackson as I can't forget his marvelous works of Meet the Feebles and Brain Dead. But the problem I had with this movie is the same problem I faced in his Lord of the Rings films: the points he make were too long! Very long shots and overly sympathetic and dramatic acting. Yes I know that Kong is in love with the girl. Yes I know Kong is suffering from sleeping gas. Yes I know that guy is dying. And talk about an undignified death, Kong shot in the back by the plane while he's lying down like a boy getting whipped.

9.
TRANSFORMERS

The idea of a car shape-shifting into a giant robot seemed impossible for a live-action film long ago. But with today's technology, it was exciting to see our pal Optimus Prime in the flesh, i mean steel. Though attached to it was Michael Bay, which seemed to hold me up a bit and even though I admit I wasn't a huge fan, I still like the cartoons. And it was nothing more exciting than two colossal robots battling each other and tearing our planet apart. The problem: those pesky humans. They're very two-dimensional, very annoying and they seemed to be ab-libbing through the entire movie. And because of their presence, the Autobots have to learn about their eartly knowledge like E-Bay and "My Bad". And I was ticked off that they have to bag the shit out of John Turturro, when Bumblebee "lubricate" on him. Real mature, Bay. Action scenes was to be fun to watch, but kinda lost its steam in the end. Will I be looking forward to the next film? Not really...

By the way, Megan Fox isn't that hot... (GASP!!!! You did not say that!!)

8.
KILL BILL VOL. 2

The year is 2003, I was 17 and in that time, I was heavily inspired by anime, samurai, katanas anything Japanese. So upon viewing the promotions of Kill Bill Vol. 1, I was ecstatic to witness a full-on blood battle between a katana-wielding Uma Thurman in yellow suit and a hordes of Yakusa men in black suit with katanas. DIRECTED BY F*CKIN QUENTIN TARANTINO! F*CK YEAH! That movie's gonna rock! Sure enough after watching Kill Bill Vol. 1, I rocked my socks off! Not only the battles were great, but the mythology Tarantino created were interesting to look at. So Kill Bill Vol. 2 was around the corner, leading up what could be the epic battle between Beatrix and Bill. Who is Bill? How skilled he is? What the final battle be like? How is Beatrix going to KILL BILL? So happens that she killed him in the LAMEST WAY ever! As soon Bill mentions the five palm strike thingy, it was a "no sh*t!" moment. The movie would've been good if it wasn't called Kill Bill. You have a gang-up fight sequence in the first part and in the conclusion, they just wanna talk! The whole thing could have been avoided if they just hired a marriage counselor.

7.
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE II

Do not diss John Woo! He is still the man and I love all of his Hong Kong works especially "A Better Tomorrow II" and "The Killer". Hollywood recognized his talents and had to bring him over. When I heard he was doing Mission: Impossible II, I was like "Hell Yeah, my man! John Woo!". Trailers flared up with impossible action and heavy metal with damn great slo-mo shots. Though the genre of espionage doesn't fit his style. Mostly it wasn't John Woo's fault. They ask John to do a Mission: Impossible sequel and he did what he did best: stylized action. What was missing were the character depth, the complex spy plot and even an interesting female protagonist. Even shooting in Sydney, Australia proved to be an odd choice for John. What is so interesting about that city? I have been there and the city was boring. But this is coming from a Melbourne guy. Sadly John's work in Hollywood began to stump lower and lower and I felt very sorry. Hopefully we will see John Woo once again back in the limelight.

6.
SUPERMAN RETURNS

Superman's returning to the big screen?! Oh my god! Thats so awesome! Granted, that Superman isn't that interesting to me, nor is among my favorite superheroes, but f*ck its Superman! I grew up watching anything Superman when I was a kid from the serials, to the cartoons, to the Superboy show (eventually becoming Smallville) to even Lois and Clark. The ones that stick out me about Superman were the movies. From the classical John William epic to his battle with General Zod and even his battle with Nuclear Man, they were part of my childhood and enhanced my imagination in cinema. Now at this point of time, cinema has the technology to make Superman do anything. In the opening sequences, I cheered that the main title had the same font and effects as it was in the last movies. How nostalgic is that? But that was the only thing amazing about it. I know Lex Luthor is arch-nemesis to Superman, but enough of him! He has gotta have to most stupidest diabolical plan in the movie especially when he named himself a criminal genius. He produce land with kryptonite, just for a real estate scam! Wow... It was bold to show the vulnerable side of Superman, but unlike Batman Begins, it wasn't enough to make it interesting. And whose idea is it to attach a space shuttle to a jumbo jet?! Afterwards, I told myself "Bryan Singer left X-men for this?!"

5.
WILD WILD WEST

From the first look, I thought I saw something original. Steam-punk meets Cowboys with Will Smith! That blew my mind! Cowboys with antique gadgets, operated by cogs and wheels, instead of wire, and acting like spys. And hey at that time, who could go no wrong with Big Willie? And hell I was a big Fresh Prince fan. Though I wasn't expecting an thoughtful spy thriller, but an fun action-filled summer spectacular. It just seemed they just couldn't give me that! All the things they promised of weird gadgetry and great action scenes were just stripped off. The action scenes were short and lame. The characters were not even funny and they were competent! And as I was expecting a good climax battle, it turns out to be sooooooooo lame. When you set your fight on giant f*ckin mechanical spider, it better be f*ckin good!! And it was bullsh*t!

By the way, Salma Hayek.... now thats a chick who is super hot! She's in her 40s and she's still hot!

4.
BATMAN AND ROBIN

Because of Begins and The Dark Knight, I will forever view Batman as something truly greater than any superhero, even my favorite superhero Spider-man. But back then in my childhood, I viewed Batman as something fun and less serious. I liked the Burton Batman films not because of its gothic and surreal style, but it look very much like a cartoon. And I will admit I loved Batman Forever from that time. As an adult , I cringed at it. But when I was a kid, Batman Forever was the bomb! And only one thing that sold me off and that was Jim Carrey. Admittedly I was looking forward to the next Schumacher Batman film, though even I thought having Arnie and Uma Thurman as Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy was an odd choice. Still I was looking forward to it. But even as a child, I found it to be the most GAYEST Batman movie ever, literally and metaphorically. Everything about it was gay! Why did Joel make the creature of the night sooo gay?! He must have fetishes with giant naked statues and neon paint and light. And as I cringed at Arnie's ice puns, I just wanted to strange Uma Thurman with my tiny hands. This was so bad it buried the Batman franchise for 8 years! Thank god for Nolan...

3.
SPIDER-MAN 3

I was so happy that Sam Raimi did justice to my favorite superhero, not once but twice. Spider-man was so awesome and it was my most favorite superhero movie that time (until a little bat came in). They gave a great Doc Ock, so I have been wondering who will be Spider-man's next villain. Suddenly I read there will be not 1, not 2 but 3!!! supervillians: Sandman, The new Green Goblin and Venom! Though I did think that Venom was put in at the very last minute. Still I was soooooo hyped up to see Spider-man battling these three villains while rescuing Mary Jane or Gwen Stacy. But very early on, I eventually found it wasn't going to be not good. And the first sign was the opening credits. The first two were memorable, while this one was so uncreative. Eventually it went fine until Parker turned into Black Spider-man. When when he turns into Black Spider-man, he turns into the most wimpiest metro-sexual emo kid, that dances to disco! What... the... f*ck?! Then Venom finally came on, but it turned out to be a weak creature as to his comic form. And there were many crying scenes I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or be disgust. And at the end.... well say the first two end on a epic high note... this one.. it was a meh... It was a film that we don't know who to blame: the director, the produce

2.
STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE

Its FREAKIN Star Wars!!!! Probably the grand spectacle of mythical storytelling. Its an epic medieval adventure set in space! Though I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, but I grew up on Star Wars. It was one of my inspirations for me to become passionately involved in the industry of film as I was growing up. Knowing about the new Star Wars movie, I was flipping out! What new story will be added to the Star Wars mythology by master storyteller George Lucas? Lots of things to see! A new Sith Lord! A young Obi-Wan! And a young Darth Vader! How interesting and fantastic is it going to be? As soon as the words "A long long time ago.. in a galaxy far far away..." I cheered so loud and said to myself "Ohh we're in for a ride..." Only the ride turns out to be anything but good. What just happened? Did George took everything about Star Wars that was awesome and replaced it with something else? Star Wars is about fighting in space and yet there is not enough fighting! And did George made friends with a Jamaican stoner and a Jewish salesman to be inspired in creating those abominations?! Not to mention pulling away why we all love Star Wars in the first place, "you see Anakin, The Force is just midi-chlorian". Thank you "master storyteller"... Afterward I was hopeful for the next two episodes but they proved to be useless. Now do I still find the name "Star Wars" epic as it used to be?

However this next entry shows the one franchise I once worshiped but now forgotten...

And that is...

1.
THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS

As I said in my teen years, I was so much into anime. Anime, samurai, katana, anything Japanese. Thus I came upon the Matrix and it blew my mind! As a teen, I cared little about the philosophy behind it and cared more about the action scenes. And they were scenes that have been seen before. It was the closest thing the US could for an Anime. And what I loved about the Matrix franchise is how deep and philosophical (in other words, how fancy) its mythology really was. In 2003, we were given two Matrix movies in the same year. I watched the Matrix Reloaded and yet again I was blown away! It became my own Star Wars. An epic mythology of good and evil, real and not real, set in the digital world and where people fight anime characters. And after the closing credits, we were treated to a little AWESOME trailer where it shows the fight to end all fight set to a macabre and melancholic choir song. It was epic! Between then and November, I came up with soo many theories about the Matrix and shared it to anyone who doesn't care about the Matrix. Even when I saw something remotely to a spoiler, I would be angry and cried. November came and I was soo giddy to finally see what will happen. Will the humans be freed? Will Neo win over Smith? What is really the Matrix? You know the answer. Bullsh*t...... By the end of the movie, I looked at myself and thought what have I been doing. Everything I expected from the film, it was dismal and sooooo lame... Some questions were left unanswered and some were given the most stupidest answers ever possible. The story that was deep and philosophical suddenly became cheap, rushed and clichéd. As for the final battle between Neo and Smith, it was pretty lackluster. I was soooooo disappointed, I was in denial for a long time until I came to accept. After the movie, the entire franchise just disappeared. And so did my belief in it. Will they ever bring up the franchise, we don't know...

So thats my Top 10. What's your opinion?