Many people warned me that by taking this step, I will lose my mind and soul forever. It was dangerous. It was foolish. It was something that should never ever be attempted for the right mind. I was totally mad... to do this.
Yet I was curious and adventurous. I have heard so many things about this film. Rumors and urban legends about how this film was created from the darkest pits of Hell, made by the blood and tears of thousands of tormented and tortured souls, shaped by their suffering, fear and depression and brought by two soulless, evil douche bags with the minds of a 10 year old. What they have created was unspeakable bad. Whoever lay their eyes on this will go mad... I'll tell a short story I heard from a friend of mine. I know a friend of mine who was full of laughter, smiles and fun. He was happy all the way around. One day he rented this film and told us he's gonna watch. Many of my friends warned and coaxed him not to watch this film. They even beg for his life. But he smiled and said "What's the worst that could happen?" and went home to watch the movie. We have never heard from him for 2 weeks and we were starting to get worried. We went to his house where his mom greeted us. When we asked for him, she broke into tears and told us he's in his house and never been out of his room for 2 weeks. We went into his room and we saw him, cowering up in the corner, hugging his knees and eyes wide. Everything about him was gone. His laughter and smiles, gone. He was never the same ever again. Of course this story ain't true, but it would be awesome if it were.
But knowing about the existence of this film, I couldn't help myself but to be curious about it. The more I knew about the movie, the more I was drawn in. It was like looking at a beautiful naked woman from afar and when you come close, she becomes an old hag. Thus being a man who is passion for films, I have explore everything of the world of films. To unknown territories and the highest mountain tops. This time it was down to the stinky pits of Hell. With all these legends and rumors, I had to see Disaster Movie.
Now a few precautions I made for the viewing of this film. One, I didn't buy, not even rent the movie, but got it off the Internet. Straight out of YouTube. Because seriously, the movie actually belongs there. Two, I brought along my younger brother along for the ride so he and I will share the pain together. And at least I wouldn't be alone. And finally as evidence of how putrid and horrifying the film is, I recorded my commentary of the ENTIRE film, in which you can download the file if you like.
So finally, I watched DISASTER MOVIE. So do you want to know what I think of it?
Do you know want to know?
You sure you want to know?....
Its just ok :)
I'm just f*ckin with you.
THIS MOVIE SSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
F*CK THIS MOVIE!!! F*CK THIS MOVIE IN THE ASS!!! F*CK THIS PIECE OF SH*T TILL THE END OF TIME!!!
Throughout the entire film, I was furious! I was f*ckin enraged! I was wanting to tear apart my computer set!!! I wanted to save up my money to fly LA, buy a sawed-off shotgun, hunt down Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer and BLOW THEIR F*CKIN HEADS OFF!!! I was mad at hell!!! There was absolutely nothing redeemable and as you watch it, you feel like your brain is getting smashed by a hammer. And I do QUESTION any person who even remotely like this film! And they would say "ohh this movie is not for smart people, but for normal people". I tell you, I'm not even smart. I probably have a little good sense in movies, but I'm as normal as normal people can be. And as a normal person, this movie is SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH*********TTTTTTTTTT!!!!!! So if you like this "film", good for you but I think as much lower...
Anything good? Probably none. What do you expect the "directors" didn't spend their budget on good casting, set design and writers and just spent the entire budget on just the OPENING CREDITS?! And come on, this is labeled in the genre "comedy", where you are supposed to make the people laugh. All the jokes are of the lowest denominator. The lowest of the low. Immature. Stupid. Eye-popping, Brain-grazing. And none of them made me laugh! They think that because its a spoof movie, you have to rely on movie references. STOP USING F*CKIN USING MOVIE REFERENCES. That isn't what made spoof movies like Airplane!, Naked Gun and the Mel Brooks films the classics they are today. Those movies rely on absurd and clever jokes, exaggerated scenes, funny characters and even a little bit of wittiness. Movie references are secondary in those movies. THIS MOVIE HAS F*CKIN MOVIE REFERENCES EVERYWHERE!!! Whats worse, the characters have to INTRODUCE the movie reference they are doing! That's just insulting to any normal people! And they touch on everything that was part of 2008, giving you the most obvious, yet lamest jokes they can offer! Stuffs we can predict on YouTube! Honestly its like watching a feature-length YouTube movie, made by the most retarded mentally-challenged socially-outcasted dweebs in the universe! I F*CKIN HATE THESE GUYS!!! I'm not gonna let Uwe Boll go because he still f*ckin sucks, but I will not anymore labeled as the worst director ever. THESE GUYS, AARON SELTZER AND JASON FRIEDBERG ARE NOW THE WORST FILMMAKERS EVER!!! This is the worst movie of 2008!! And usually I don't get easily mad at any bad movie and I'm a laid back guy, but man!!!! THIS MOVIE UNLEASHED THE MOST ANGRIEST INNER BEAST WITHIN ME!!! And its the first time I ever wished death upon anyone!
As I said, F*CK THIS MOVIE!!! F*CK THIS MOVIE IN THE ASS!!! F*CK THIS PIECE OF SH*T TILL THE END OF TIME!!! AARON AND JASON CAN DIE IN THE MOST INHUMANE WAY EVER.
Ehem soo I hope you enjoyed reading my review :D
And we stayed through the ENTIRE film because I want to hold this as evidence of this god forsaken film and also I did for your amusement. Enjoy
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