My Top Ten: Upcoming Films Of 2009

Its that time of the month where I give my Top Ten on ANYTHING!

Well 2009 is nearly over and we had such a great lineup of films. Nearly as good as last year. We have the complete crapfests to surprisingly wonders. And now we look forward to the rest of the films coming soon to our theaters. So I present to you the Top Ten of the upcoming films Of 2009 I look forward to. Even though I live in Australia and there are different release dates, the list won't include entries that already released in the US, including UP (which I will see on Sept 3 --> MY BIRTHDAY!!!)

Lets get on it shall we?


And no... New Moon is not gonna be on the list. Its certainly a must-see for girls and gays, but not for me and the rest of the guys.

10.
AVATAR

Honestly from the moment I heard of the concept, I was kinda looking forward to this film even though James Cameron was attached to this. And my hype would be depended on the upcoming trailer. Unfortunately the trailer showed a film that is a pretty generic Pixar-ish animated adventure and it lost so many places on the list. Though I might check it out.

9.
SHERLOCK HOLMES



Robert Downey Jr. as Sherock? Very interesting... and directed by Guy Ritchie? The man who directed the awesome Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels? VERY interesting. Though Ritchie had a pretty rough time getting back into directing since Madonna pulled him down from his awesomeness. So he needed to let go of that hag. This film is pretty different from your typical Ritchie film and looks like your standard actioner. Then again, Robert Downey Jr. as Sherock Holmes? Is it gonna be sweet? No sh..

8.
THE LOVELY BONES

Well its Peter Jackson's next film and he did brought us District 9. Although I want him to go back to doing horror like Sam Raimi. His best films are his horror gorefests, even better than The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (my opinion guys, so don't hurt me).

7.
ZOMBIELAND

If there is something I can always enjoy, its zombie movies. They can range from gory awesomeness to a social statement. From the looks of this movie, its gonna be a blast. And about time Woody Harrelson becomes a zombie slayer.

6.
GAMER

I love the Crank series and it is great the creators of Crank are moving on to a different concept. Yet like the Crank series, its another video game movie, but with more recognizable actors. Gerald Butler is coming in and Michael C. Hall aka DEXTER MORGAN is the badguy! Plus it looks like your usual crazy Crank movies, which is a good thing.

5.
FANTASTIC MR. FOX

Wes Anderson (director of The Royal Tenenbaums, The Darjeeling Limited) doing a stop-motion animated movie based on a classic Roald Dahl story? SO very interesting! Just the look from the trailer, this stop-motion animation is actually different from other stop-motion animations, such as the design, moving-rate, materials and framing. Thus can be very charming to some and off-putting for others. And you have George Clooney as the Fantastic Mr. Fox, along with Wes Anderson's usuals: Owen Wilson, Bill Murray and Jason Schwartzman.

4.
THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG

I can't wait to turn myself into a 8 year old kid again when I go and see this movie. Its been a long time and many 3D animated films to have Disney, returning to the real magic of traditional 2D animation. The classic stuff that brought such brilliance to the screen like Pinocchio to Beauty And The Beast. Plus with John Lassetter supervising the project, this might be in good hands. And hey, we have a black president so we now have a black Disney princess.

3.
9

I got to thank Coheed and Cambria for the song used in the trailer. If it weren't for them, I would be totally hooked to this movie. Sure Tim Burton and the Russian guy who did Nightwatch and Wanted are behind this, but its newcomer director Shane Acker is the man of this creation. This animated film is very different from the others seen before, set in a bleak and post-apocalyptic world. One can describe it as a crossover of Little Big Planet and Fallout 3. And if this is were actually released on September in Australia, I would have one hell of a birthday!

2.
THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASUS

He may not be as big as today's filmmakers like (Spielberg or ... ewww Bay) and he may have trouble getting his own films off the ground, but we, film geeks know that you can't go wrong with Terry Gilliam. In the film world, his name is legendary. Having come from the greatness of Monty Python, he was responsible for such imaginative and practical masterpieces that could rival Michel Gondry like.. well lets start with Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Time Bandits, Adventure of Baron Munchausen, Brazil and 12 Monkeys. Now comes probably his most imaginitive yet. Plus its Heath Ledger's very last role, but his time in the film was incomplete before his death. So we have Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell, playing his character and filing in his remaining shots. And their paychecks go to Ledger's daughter, Matilda. How awesome is that?

1.
WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

The most well-known children's book ever has finally been adapted into a movie. Easily could have been an 2D or 3D animated film or an average children's movie with total CG characters. Then the project was then handed to Spike Jonze, the crazy mind behind such awesome movies like Being John Malkovich and Adaptation. So who knew what kind of things he'll make up for this artistic source material. Then they finally showed the trailer. And it was the most beautiful trailer I have seen in a long time. One of my favorites all time. The film is so inviting, not just for the young audience, but for the old as well. As it seem to have a mature storyline and delicate cinematography and sound. Mature themes brought up to this film like innocence, loss of innocence and changes and again, this source material could have been a flimsy cartoon movie. This had the right person for the job and knew the right thing for this movie. This is going to be something so special.




So thats my Top 10. What's your opinion?

Mini Reviews - Mamma Mia!

Mamma Mia!

The story of a bride-to-be trying to find her real father told using hit songs by the popular '70s group ABBA.

Just so you know, I hate ABBA. ABBA is, from what I think, the definition of today's pop music: boring, bubbly, repetitive and totally irritating. Old people have been playing ABBA all over the place, its inescapable. So when I decided to rent Mamma Mia, I knew it was going to be a mental suicide.

And god, this movie adaptation of a Broadway musical just further proven my point why I hate ABBA so much. Its boring, horrendous and clearly not for me or the male demographic.

But hey, I love musicals! In fact I grew up with musicals, watching timeless classics from Singin' in the Rain to Oliver! to even the Producers. So when I look forward to a musical, I look forward to great songs, good singing, good choreography and maybe even a good story. Mamma Mia: The Movie is not a musical, but a watered-down karaoke session. I don't know why the director didn't insist of getting actors with good singing ability, but the strength of a good movie musical come from good singing as well as something electrifying and beautiful. Otherwise I would just go to a karaoke bar and I'll get the same experience I had for this movie. I felt I just wasted an hour and forty minutes, listening to sub par singing and girlish squealings. Streep is still the marvelous actress she always been, but she's no singer. Seyfried's acting range is always stuck on hysterical throughout the movie and was hysterical while singing. Pierce "007" Brosnan........ he can't sing! God, he really stunk. There is no character I actually liked and I probably liked ONE song in the movie. I won't tell you, but its not one of the most recognizable like "Mamma Mia" or "Dancing Queen". The dance choreography is nothing special and just plain silly. Again, it just looks something I see at a karaoke bar. And if its like that, why bother making it into a big budget movie?

For those who are ABBA fans, go knock yourself out with this. Those who clearly hate ABBA like me, stay clear of this film or you might regret it. I'm regretting it now.

2 out of 5 stars

Trailer Reaction - Inception Teaser

Christopher Nolan is now a hot item in Hollywood thanks to the success of The Dark Knight and so he's taking a Batman break by going back to his psychological film noir trademark with Inception. The premise of the film has been very tight in secrecy, described as a "a sci-fi thriller with the architecture of the mind". Nolan have been known for making intelligent complex films like Memento and the Prestige and we could expect a crafty and totally mindf*cking film. Plus you have a star lineup of huge A-List actors: Leonardo DiCaprio, Marion Cotillard, Cillian Murphy, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ken Watanabe, Tom Hardy and Michael Caine.

The beauty of this teaser is that the mystery keeps building, revealing not much of the plot and gives you captivating and stunning visuals while accompanied by Han Zimmer's creepy score. Especially the short, but totally awesome scene where two guys are fighting in a hallway that has lost control of gravity itself. Guys are bouncing off the walls and fighting on the ceiling, had me at "WHOA!". Its a very short teaser, but it already shows the kind of talent Nolan has in his hands. We probably don't need another Batman movie very soon and we're very much fine having something different.

Check the teaser below.

Trailer Reactions - Avatar

This is a new segment on my blog, where I review the latest trailers I just watched.



This article is about the largely world-wide anticipated movie of the year, James Cameron's Avatar. Deemed to be return of legendary filmmaker, James Cameron after a decade, who have brought such great films as Terminator, Aliens, the f*cking awesome Terminator 2 and the average Titanic. Now with a concept that was 14 years in development, Cameron describe this film as "revolutionary" and "game changing", a totally new science fiction opus that we have never seen before.

First of all, I wasn't very hyped up by this film from the beginning and never knew what is it really about, but I kind of envisioned that it was going to be that one-of-a-kind movie. A film that came out of nowhere and blew the pants out of everyone, like The Dark Knight and District 9. It was going to be 2001: Space Odyssey all over again. And man....

How disappointed I am with this film. Realized that it is just another war film between human and CG aliens. With lame CG. The first few seconds was interesting as it sets up a brand new live-action setting with marine soldiers occupying the lands. Marine put his mind inside of an weird looking alien, which is an odd thing to look at. And then suddenly we're thrust into a Pixar/Dreamworks movie. The transition between these two worlds weren't smooth and very awkward. The design and textures of these cat aliens doesn't blend well and this is when the disadvantage of 3D animations and live action hybrid come to play. While a hybrid of 2D animation and live-action can get away by looking absolutely comedic, cartoony and fantastical, the purpose of 3D animations in a live-action is to look as real or as the term "photo-realistic" as possible in order for the film to work. Comedic and children films can loosen the realism of the CG, but for a drama and action film like this, the CG have to be believable and top notch for the audience to ride along with the story. This film would have either been a fully animated film or a live action film. Especially when this film's hype have been set so high, there is so much deliver. In this case, it is a step back. Already people are complaining that the CG being too close to a video game cutscene and I understand them. It does look like the latest X-Box 360 game.

This is the poor man's version of District 9. And I know the film's concept came before D9, but this is James Cameron and a 300 million dollar budget. They better step up their game.

Watch the trailer below.

Mini Reviews - The Hangover

The Hangover

Two days before his wedding, Doug and his three friends drive to Las Vegas for a blow-out bachelor party they'll never forget. But, in fact, when the three groomsmen wake up the next morning, they can't remember a thing. For some reason, they find a tiger in the bathroom and a six-month-old baby in the closet of their suite at Caesars Palace. The one thing they can't find is Doug. With no clue as to what transpired and little time to spare, the trio must retrace their hazy steps and all their bad decisions in order to figure out where things went wrong and hopefully get Doug back to L.A. in time to walk down the aisle.

Yep, Las Vegas is such a crazy town...

This is one of those prime examples of a great "guys" movie and it is treated as a mix of clever, raunchy and low-brow comedy with a bit of mystery and sleuthing. The very strong point of this film is the story element as these characters are given in the beginning a wild and crazy setup and as they cover their tracks, the answers keep on surprising us with more wild and crazy setups. The three main characters are greatly fleshed out and developed - you have the straight jock, the p*ssy-whipped and the lovable retard. The beginning has a slow pace, but as soon the audience settle in and the story continue, it keeps on and never stop delivering knockouts after knockouts. Its one of those rare R-rated comedies that is actually good and never insults your intelligence. It is that great. And man, what a party they had...

4 out of 5 stars

Mini Reviews - High School Musical 3: Senior Year

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

It's no surprise this franchise is still doing well in its third week out. It also helps that studios are waiting to release their big hitters nearer the Holidays. The kids are still pretty, so get out and dance and sing.

Ehhhhhh... it was alright... like the last two High School Musicals... Just harmless and safe, but mind-numbing

Don't expect too much from this teeny-booper film as everything in this is kiddy-friendly, kiddy-safe and very very squeaky clean. Especially when it has a very unrealistic portrayal of high school. My high school was never ever this happy and neither do the majority. There's not much of a story, but endless shots of many many teens jumping up and down, waving their arms and smiling and having fun. The songs are fun and pretty harmless, but I can't help that they're all the same cookie-cut versions and each one of them doesn't distinguish from one another. The design and choreography can be inventive. Zac Efron is your standard hunk. While I'm not a fan of her singing, Vanessa Hudgens is a hottie (and everyone have seen her pics, including me heh heh heh :D). Ashley is best at being the school's b*tch. Lucas still makes us question his sexuality. And Corbin and Monique fill in as the token black people.

Kids, preteens and maybe teens will certainly enjoy this. As your standard mean critic, I find this film was ok. Its not watchable for me, but again its very harmless. At least this film ain't no worse than that other teeny-boopy travesty, Twilight. Ugh... the ultimate suckiness of that fiilm...

2 out of 5 stars

Mini Reviews - Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

Based on the popular video game franchise, female fighter Chun Li embarks on a quest for justice.

I don't know which is worse, the 1994 version with Van-Damme or this. I'll say this is worse by an inch...

Why? When your movie is called Street Fighter, there better be lots of fighting. And this movie just lacks in that department. God, this movie was boring as hell. If it was called something like "Martial Art Girl", then it would be just a lame martial arts movie that doesn't piss off alot of people. However since this is adapting from the Street Fighter franchise, its gonna boil the blood of every game geeks out there. Especially the Street Fighter fans.

While the adaptation is not completely faithful to the source, this film is freaking boring. My brain nearly collapse itself from the complete dullness of this movie as it drones on and on and on with pointless narration, annoying acting and an absolute lack of story. Van Damme's may be over the top and stupid as hell, but at least it was fun and funny to look at. With this, I felt like I deliberately wasted one hour and a half of my life. Even if Chris Klien was hilarious unintentionally, all of the cast brought this movie down to the joke it is now. And Michael Clarke Duncan.... what are you doing?!

And I even had a feeling that this movie was ripping off a much superior movie... a prequel to the best movie of last year... lets see, hmmmm...

Oh it was ripping off Batman Begins. So Chun Li just wants to become Batman...

1 and a half out of 5 stars

Simply Awesome or Crap: Films Based On English Comics

This is a new thing for me in where I go down the list of things related to a category/theme and just simply state whether it is AWESOME or CRAP. Other labels are IS GOOD, IT'S OK... or HAVEN'T SEEN IT. I may give some little reasons why, but most is no reasons, just simply states it. And these are entirely my opinions, so they're not concrete facts. Feel free to comment on whatever statement I made, to your anger's desires!

This time, I'll be going through the list of movies that is either a hit or miss in this genre: comic book movies. And I certainly grew up with watching these superheroes since I was so young. And they evolved with each decade. To qualify to the list, the films have to be theatrically released and live-action. So with the help of Wikipedia, lets start, shall we?




Superman (1978) - AWESOME! (And that John William score is forever epic)




Popeye (1980) - IT'S OK... (I can do a Popeye Impression too... ah ga ga ga gah!)




Superman II (1981) - AWESOME! (I will bow down to General Zod!)




Swamp Thing (1982) - HAVEN'T SEEN IT..(May watch it for that one scene :P)




Superman III (1983) - CRAP! (When your super villain is Richard Pryor..... yeah...)




Sheena (1984) - HAVEN'T SEEN IT (Might see it for that same reason :P)




Supergirl (1984) - CRAP! (Nothing super about this chick)




Red Sonja (1985) - IT'S OK... (Really silly enough to watch)




Howard The Duck (1986) - CRAP! (Though not George Lucas' greatest shame...)




Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987) - CRAP! (Well at least a yellow tight-wearing long-nailed long haired Nuclear villain isn't as bad as Richard Pryor.... and I know Pryor is awesome as a comedian, but he ain't a super villain)




The Return of Swamp Thing (1989) - HAVEN'T SEEN IT (And really don't have the desire too)




Batman (1989) - IS GOOD (I still can't see Michael Keaton as a good Batman...)




The Punisher (1989) - HAVEN'T SEEN IT (Wait for a few decade to be less tamed...)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) - AWESOME! (This film has TURTLE POWER!!)




Captain America (1990) - HAVEN'T SEEN IT! (And heard its hilarious...)




Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze (1991) - IS GOOD (I really really really wish that Super Shredder didn't die a pathetic death...)




The Rocketeer (1991) - IT'S OK... (And pretty forgettable too)




Batman Returns (1992) - IS GOOD! (I remember the Penguin freaked the f*ck out of me when I was little)




Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993) - CRAP! (From bodacious to lame...)




The Crow (1994) - IS GOOD! (Very tragic for Brandon Lee...)




The Shadow (1994) - IT'S OK...(Not entirely special about this hero...)




The Mask (1994) - IS GOOD... (Jim Carrey fits the character because he is actually a cartoon)




Richie Rich (1994) - IT'S OK... (This film was pretty harmless.... oh wait it had guns in that movie!)




Time Cop (1994) - IT'S OK... (Your typical Van Damme movie!)




Tank Girl (1995) - IT'S OK... (Too bad it "tanked" at the box office :P)




Batman Forever (1995) - IT'S OK (Even though Jim Carrey kept me entertained, I question Joel Schumacher's design and direction....)




Judge Dredd (1995) - IT'S OK (As long as Stallone wields guns, I'm fine by it)




The Phantom (1996) - IT'S OK... (I still don't see the reason to wear a purple suit in a jungle...)




Barb Wire (1996) - CRAP! (There's only two huge reason why I saw it...)




Batman And Robin (1997) - GGGRRRR THAT WAS F*CKIN HORRIBLE!!! (And the Batman franchise died for a while..)




Men In Black (1997) - IS GOOD! (Nothing cool than battling aliens in black tie suits)




Spawn (1997) - IT'S OK... (Visually pleasing, but forgettable...)




Steel (1997) - CRAP! (How could your name be "Steel" if you're wearing rubber suit?)




Blade (1998) - IS GOOD! (Who didn't get f*ckin pumped with that opening with that techno track?)




Mystery Men (1999) - IT'S OK... (I kinda wish there was a sequel...)

X-Men (2000) - IS GOOD! (Hugh Jackman's Wolverine?!....... How dare he....)




Monkeybone (2001) - CRAP! (Wished they focused more on the stop-motion world than the plotline where an animated monkey possessed Brendan Fraser)




Josie And The Pussycats (2001) - IT'S OK (A kinda lighthearted satire on the pop music world...)




Ghost World (2001) - HAVEN'T SEEN IT! (And I should see it. Heard good things about it)




From Hell (2001) - IT'S OK... (And begins Alan Moore's hatred to Hollywood)




Blade II (2002) - AWESOME! (Ron Perlman is the highlight of this film)




Spider-Man (2002) - AWESOME! (You know, I did that upside-down kiss with my girlfriend.... oohh yeah :D)




Men In Black II (2002) - IT'S OK... (Battling aliens in black tie suits, no longer cool...)




Road To Perdition (2002) - AWESOME! (One of the rare times where I see Tom Hanks as a badass!)




American Splendor (2003) - IS GOOD! (Paul Giamatti is so uncanny like Harvey Pekar)




Daredevil (2003) - CRAP! (With the first 10 minutes ripped of Spider-Man and soundtrack by Evanescence, you think I'll like this movie?)




Bulletproof Monk (2003) - IT'S OK... (Just hope Chow Yun Fat won't sell himself off in the near future....)




X-Men 2 (2003) - AWESOME! (Wolverine better enjoy his popularity while he still can...)




Hulk (2003) - SOOO CRAP! (Proof that even great directors like Ang Lee can make very crappy movies...)




The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) - SUCH A CRAPPY MESS! (I understand why Alan Moore would be sooo pissed off about this...)




Hellboy (2004) - IS GOOD! (Ron Perlman as Hellboy = Perfect!)




The Punisher (2004) - CRAP! (With such a violent anti-hero, its very uninteresting...)




Spider-Man 2 (2004) - F*CKIN AWESOME! (This was used to be my all time favorite superhero movie..... until 4 years later...)




Catwoman (2004) - AGGRAVATING AND PAINFULLY CRAP! (If you gonna see this movie, be warned that your head will bleed inside upon viewing)




Blade: Trinity (2004) - JUST CRAP! (Can't Blade just go out and kill those Twilight vampires?)




Elektra (2005) - SO CRAP... (Spin-off of Daredevil... yet the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...)




Constantine (2005) - IS GOOD! (A darker version of Ghostbusters!)




Son Of The Mask (2005) - MIGOD! IT SUCKS SO HARD!! (An unneeded sequel and Jamie Kennedy is the unfunniest man alive!)




Sin City (2005) - SO F*CKIN AWESOME! (Marv... he's so badass! And Carla Gugino is the cherry on top! So cool and hot!)




Batman Begins (2005) - SO AWESOME! (Such a refreshing take on the Batman franchise...)




Fantastic Four (2005) - JUST CRAP! (Why did I hate Johnny Storm and Dr. Victor von Doom so much?!)




A History Of Violence (2005) - IS GOOD! (Its a pretty tense film...)




V For Vendetta (2005) - IS GOOD! (If I was Alan Moore, I wouldn't be pissed off by this...)




X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) - IT'S OK... (Even though it was uncalled for that Cyclop died so early, I still enjoyed it...)




Superman Returns (2006) - CRAP! (After such an epic opening, just became lame afterwards...)




Ghost Rider (2007) - SO CRAP! (This was actually filmed in Melbourne, my home town.... I don't know if I should be happy or embarassed...)




300 (2007) - AWESOME! (Afterward I yelled at people "THIS IS SPARTA!" and kicked them in a bottomless well..)




Spider-Man 3 (2007) - IT'S OK... (Dunno if I should laugh or cringe at disco-dancing emo Peter Parker..)




Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (2007) - JUST CRAP! (Galactus is just a cloud... so cheap!)




30 Days Of Night (2007) - IT'S OK! (Not a bad vampire film...)




Iron Man (2008) - IS GOOD! (Robert Downey Jr. makes a comeback...)

The Incredible Hulk (2008) - IS GOOD! (Now thats how you make a Hulk movie! Take notes, Ang Lee...)




Wanted (2008) - IT'S OK... (A Columbine School Shooter's Wet Dream... Fun or disturbing?)




Hellboy 2: The Golden Army (2008) - IS GOOD! (Just anything with Ron Perlman is just good!)




The Dark Knight (2008) -
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OH MY GOD!!!! BOW DOWN TO ITS AWESOMENESS AND ITS GREATNESS!!!! THAT WAS SOOOOOOO F*CKIN EPIC AND AWESOME!! BATMAN IS THE F*CKIN MAN! THE JOKER IS THE F*CKIN MAN!! TWO FACE IS THE F*CKIN MAN!! EVERYONE PART OF THAT FILM ARE JUST AWESOME!!! ONE OF THE BEST FILMS OF ALL TIME PERIOD!!!! ITS JUST SOOO AMAZINGLY AND EPICALLY AWESOME!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!! (....need I say more?)




Punisher: War Zone (2008) - CRAP! (Will they ever make a good Punisher movie?)




The Spirit (2008) - UNBEARABLY CRAP!!! (Did anything of that movie made f*ckin sense?!)




X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2008) - SO CRAP! (Amnesia bullets = Major Copout!)




Watchmen (2008) - IT'S OK... (I'm in the middle, ok people? Don't want to be savagely attack by comic geeks...)


Thats it for Simply Awesome or Crap!
What are your opinions?